Kelly McCullough

We…wish…you…a…stop. We wish you would stop.

No, this is cool. Really.

OMG! Is Santa really Captain America?

No. Just. No.

I wish you a merry…

Ha! Die stupid hat! Die!

I have you now, and your ruby slippers too!

The precious is mine!

I hate each and every one of you.

And, no I am not participating willingly. Please call my assassin. I have a job…

Hello, I am today’s guest cat…I guess.

Guest cats? Again? You know how much I hate that!

Yeah, but, you hate everything.

Dude, don’t ever say that where she can hear you.

I am also guest catting!

We are in soooooo much trouble.

“You” are in so much trouble. “I” am helping change sheets.

Dat sunbeam are belong to ME!

Yeah, fine, whatever, I didn’t want it…is that a bug?!

Nope it are PTERODACTYL

I am so confused by the ongoing dialogue. Also…zzzzzzz

I will kill it with my mind and wear its feather as a crown!

Hey, Bodi, maybe dial the intensity down to…11?

…………………………………………Good start, but probably not enough.

Stalking the wild martini, shhhhhh!

Dude, you know you don’t drink.

Cat. Some assembly required.

What is it with tuxedo-boys? I’m so embarrassed.

You think you’re embarrassed, try wearing the same suit as…that.

We’ve been thinking of dying this one black and white to match the set.

Please to be ignoring my siblings and give all meats to me.

Hey now!

Whateves.

I too like meat, why was I not invited?

Four brothers, three brains cells. That’s why my expression is always this.

I’z super high!

You’re what now?

Cut him some slack, his brain cell is out visiting the fruit flies.

I’z high!

I can’t believe this is the family that adopted me…

Confession time, guys. I think I might have a drinking problem.

Really? No one could have guessed that. I’m surrounded by idiots.

There’s one above you.

And one below you.

We are legion. Also, why are you all upside down?

Oh, hell, is it Monday again? I’ve got nothing.

Gzzznorkzzzzzzzzz

I vote we bag it for the week.

I have a tail!

Is it boxing day again, already?

Every day are boxing day!

It is a truth universally acknowledge that a good box is in need of a cat.

All in favor of the motion signify by saying meeerup.

Hello fellow cats, I would like you to meet my fiance, Concretia!

You what now?

Do you think I should tell him?

Naw, it won’t help.

Rocket launching Jeeves in 3.2.1.chomp…

This should be interesting.

I doubt it.

gznorkzzzzzzzzzz

When shall we three meet again? Or…wait, this is Macbeth, right?

I meant to do that.

Of course you did.

Yeah, every cat dreams of getting covered with water.

They do? Huh. Guess I need to revise me thinkages.

Dis mah tunnel, do note trezpaz.

Jus chillin.

I see nothings, I hear nothings.

Y’all are weird. You know that right?

Power tools and alcohol, what could possibly go wrong?

I’ll be in my bunker.

Do I need to be awake? And, maybe, running away?

Naw, I’m sure it’ll turn out fine.

It was like this when I got here.

Will testify to this. It absolutely was circumstance, not enemy action.

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Solidarity!

He’s still behind me, isn’t he?

You sound like you’re feeling guilty, what’s that about?

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

It’s the telltale paw print in the pie, isn’t it?

And…crickets. J’ascuse!

I like pie… Wait, did I miss something?